A book review.

Scandal is the title of the novel written by Endo Shusaku in 1986. Its setting is modern Tokyo, centered around the Yoyogi-Harajuku area.

The way Endo describes Yoyogi, Harajuku and Shinjuku in the eighties is just as I remembered it. In 1986, Yoyogi and Shibuya were my main playgrounds. For that reason, it’s especially meaningful to me.

The novel itself is a treatment of the nature of man. The main character, Suguro, is a novelist who in every way resembles Endo himself. Suguro is a highly respected, award winning novelist. He is thought to be upright, moral, socially sanitized.

Gradually, Suguro is forced to admit that he has an evil side. An extremely evil side. So much so that it makes his “main side” look like a fabrication. Which side is real? Both sides?

In the final chapters, we find Suguro in a hotel room, with the embodiment of innocence - a middle school girl by the name of Mitsu - intoxicated, naked and unconscious on the bed.

He wants to rescue the young girl. He wants to take her out of the hotel room now, before anybody can harm her.

He does that, but not before molesting and strangling her.

So which is it? Are we evil? Or are we good?

I think I’m a good person myself, but I am also aware of my extreme capacity for evil. I think we all have that capacity. History shows us we do. In a sense, we have two “natures”. A “good” nature that tells us to be good, regardless of negative consequences. And an equally extravagant “evil” nature.

Yes, that’s right, deny it. Deny that you could ever enjoy killing somebody.

That won’t make it go away though.

A week or so ago I went in for a physical. Several months ago I lost a lot of weight, and ever since I can eat two horses a day and still not gain any weight. I love that part, but was worried about the cause.

In the physical, I took barium sulfate and they used a medical imaging technology that I’m not really familiar with to check my vital organs. (Not a CT scan; PET scan, perhaps.)

At the time of the exam, I could tell the technician was concerned. She kept taking pictures of a certain organ, over and over, from several different angles. The organ turned out to be my stomach. The doctor asked me to make an appointment for an endoscopy, citing the possibilities of an gastric ulcer or gastric cancer.

Cancer. There’s a word that’ll scare the snot outta you.

I’m somewhat of a boy scout in the sense that I like to be prepared. So I wrote out the possibilities:

Ulcer - deal with it.

Cancer, operable - operate.

Cancer, metastasized - die.

The last option was the one that was hardest to get a grip on. Even though, in this day and age, death from cancer is not a done deal, it does occur. While realizing the improbability of it, I was determined to be prepared for all options, including the fatal one.

(more…)

I’ve spoken out against the intolerant atheists on more than one occasion. This may lead one to think that I side with the Religious Right.

That would be an incorrect assumption. Both the Liberals and the Conservatives, at this point in American politics, are collectivist. They both want to impose morality on the individual. To describe either side as “laissez faire” would be dishonest.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the Conservative opposition to gay marriage. By what right does anybody have to employ the force of the government to prevent gay people from marrying? I’m not gay, and I don’t particularly think marriage is a brilliant idea either. But it’s none of my business who marries whom.

(more…)